Excuse me, while I kiss this pole.

I mentioned on Twitter, that I seem to be lacking backup skills. I’m not good at backing up my computer, or my car. Perhaps these short blog entries will become an ongoing theme? If only I could do a better job at limiting myself to 140 characters.

Good thing I obscured my license plate. I don’t need you finding out my real name.

-gj (a computer pro)

 

Trying to be cool like Psystar.

Psystar is sPunky. They’re either smart, or they are cRaZy! The law says, you’re only allowed to put OS X on an Apple labled computer. I’m not a lawyer, but I play one on Twitter. So Psystar, what the heck are you thinking?

In a show of support and solidarity to my irreverent brothers and sisters at Psystar, I have decided to put Mac OS X Leopard on my toaster. Here’s a photo to prove it.

Now I’ll just sit here and wait for the cease and desist letter to arrive.

Have a nice day.

-gj (acomputerpro)

Socializing… v2 dot 1

…

So here is my first revision to Socializing… v2.0 (two dot zero.)

Twitter… blah blah blah… I love you all.

Thank you for your time.

Good (insert your current day-part here.)

-gj (a computer pro)

Advanced Twitter 101.1 (not an FM radio station.)

In follow-up to my previous basic Twitter instructional posting, I have added a few things for you, now that you’re ready… Grasshopper.

1. Sometimes you will notice that I put the @username in the middle of my Tweet instead of at the beginning, so it doesn’t show up in their replies. I’m not doing this to be mean or confusing. I do it that way so every one of my followers sees the Tweet. It is somewhat practical when replying to people who have less that 200 or so followers. I know they will see it, but so will many others, and “@username” may get some attention from it.

2. Don’t anger the power hungry moderators of Leo Laporte’s chat room by asking Leo if he is on @Very Green Team, or they will kick you out without warning and then deny they ever did it. This item has nothing to do with Twitter. I just added it to amuse myself.

3. Leo’s listener @TooHip did a great job following the instructions in my Basic Twitter Manual, as evidenced by the hysterical photo below.

That’s all for this moment.

-gj (acomputerpro)

Windows Vista Service Pack 1 (SP1) ???

Updated at 9:54 PM PDT | 3/19/08 - Additional Below 

Wow, there was a lot of excitement in the room, and of course the room is Twitter. Microsoft finally made SP1 for Vista (aka: Windows Vista Service Pack 1) available on 3/18/08 - although they dated the files 3/17/08 on the Microsoft Download site. Don’t ever question Microsoft logic. Perhaps they forgot to set their calendar ahead for Daylight Savings Time?

New Information as of 1:52 PM PDT: …with thanks to my super cool Twitter friend @NickStarr, I have added the important all inclusive download link: http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/Browse.aspx?DisplayLang=en&nr=20&productId=38DF6AB1-13D4-409C-966D-CBE61F040027&sortCriteria=date

The above link gives a chronological listing of the Vista related Service Packs, release notes and additional downloads necessary to prepare your Vista OS for accepting future Windows Updates.

Most of you will want the 32-bit version. That’s the normal one for mom, dad and the kids. The 64-bit version of Windows Vista is for those who boldly go, where no man has gone before. (Cue StarTrek Theme Music.)

Some important notes: Vista SP1 will break stuff and fix stuff. Read all the notes first before running the service pack. My Twitter pal @mickduc adds “SP1 install fails if sfc /scannow fails. Make sure it is clean.” I say, take a nice warm bath and scrub your lower bits and upper bytes too.

My other Twitter buddy @Lolagrrl tweets, @acomputerpro I’m afraid! So much stuff is broken on my compuker already! Will SP1 actually help?! I scared! Hold me!!

Note: I will hold any of my female Twitterbuds at any time. That is written into my consulting agreement. Male Twitterpals, you’re on your own. Sure… call me a sexist, but I favor the ladies.

3/19/08 Late Night Update - Some of us (LIKE ME) can’t install SP1 into their Vista! Presenting Microsoft’s Top 8 Reason’s Service Pack 1 is not available for your Vista: http://support.microsoft.com/?kbid=948343

I love Reason #1: You can’t download and install Vista SP1 because you are already running Vista SP1. Hey Micro$oft… thanks for assuming we’re stupid.

So, in recapitulation… here is my instruction set:

1. Install Vista if it’s not already on your computer (and if you want it on your computer.) The service pack won’t work if you don’t have Vista installed, because it’s a Vista Service Pack… DUH!

2. Read all the readme.txt files and notes. Follow all the instructions. Run the built in Windows System File Checker [sfc /scannow] from a command line. Look it up if you don’t understand what that means. I’m not here to baby you. You’re running Vista you know!

3. I have no idea what to do at this point.

Happy updating…

 -gj (a computer pro)

P.S. Follow me on Twitter if you aren’t already. www.twitter.com/acomputerpro

Basic Twitter Manual - (Twitter 101) *gj style*

I have been asked by no one, to write this manual on how to use Twitter. I probably shouldn’t even be the one to write it, since I know nothing special. I have only been “tweeting” for 3 months. But I am a writer and a computer pro, so here goes.

Oh my… the thought of writing this manual is already overwhelming to me. The whole reason that I love Twitter is I can blog in 140 characters or less. That is perfect for me. My thoughts are fast, short and sweet. So using that philosophy, here goes something:

1. Get a free Twitter account. Oh, you already have one? Good.

2. Make sure you have a secure password. You don’t want me to get a hold of your Twitter account and embarrass you.

3. Make a few new friends or “Twitterbuds.” Start with me because I am the best. Then add @LeoLaporte. Leo probably won’t follow you back because he has over 13,000 following him. Follow @ChrisBrogan. He loves everyone and will “probably” follow you. @MouseWords loves everyone too. She’s sweet, wholesome and spiritual. So am I, but you’d never believe that now, would you?

4. Consider adding @Tindle. I said, consider… you don’t actually have to do it (wink wink.) Oh, the heck with it… go ahead and add the bloke. He can buy me an ale later. There are actually some very helpful people on Twitter. One could call them the matriarchs. They seem to have a fetish for knitting… and for me. Use www.Terraminds.com to find them. Search for the term “frozen pea.”

5. Add @iJustine. Everyone else does. This would be a good thing, because at least then you’ll get half of my jokes. I tease Justine quite often… but in a very humble and loving way. “R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me.” You go, girl!

6. Tweet! That’s what it’s called when you type 140 characters or less in the text box under, “What are you doing?” Then click the “update” button below the text. Now a bazillion potential stalkers can see what you’ve just tweeted. Don’t worry though, most of them are harmless and many don’t even speak English.

7. Now might be a good time to remember that this is ALL public. Don’t put your address in your Twitter profile. Oh, and don’t talk to strangers. Wait a second… strike that last thought. Hmm, I guess I already did

8. Did I mention to following @iJustine yet. You see, I told you I’d have trouble with this.

9. Placing an @ symbol in front of a username designates it as a reply. Here’s where Twitter gets real tricky and it’s the main reason I am writing this stupid manual. In your settings, check how you are set up to receive reply tweets. It’s under Settings/Notices/@ Replies.  If you don’t want to miss a precious and precocious tweet of mine, make rootin’-tootin’ sure you have Twitter set to “show all @ replies.”

I’m really tired of writing. Can I PLEASE stop now? You can figure out the rest of Twitter on your own, or better yet… just Google (or Mahalo) Twitter 101 to find out more.

That’s it for now. When I muster up the energy, I’ll blog again about the more advanced features of Twitter… like the Secret Twitter Back Door, or how to get @MegFowler not to follow you.

Bye for now… -gj (a computer pro)

Maserati shopping for NetDorks

I went online this Cyber-Monday to get a total deal on a Maserati, But apparently I typed the URL for Beverly Hills Maserati incorrectly and inadvertently wound up at a porn site called Technorati ??? I didn’t really mind all the nekedness, but I was hoping there would be pictures of iJustine, CaliLewis, AmberMac or Leo Laporte there.  Oh well, “live and learn.”  I guess I’ll have to keep driving my crappy Ferrari for another year. I just got it washed but the rims are still dirty. I’m afraid to ask, but isn’t there a phrase I can relay to my house boy Kato… a request to have my rims cleaned?

P.S. I can’t login to my LiveDoor account because amazingly, I still don’t speak Japanese.

 -gj (dork)

Today I went to a new Dentist.

I’ve already Tweeted @twitter.com and Jaikued @jaiku.com about my experience at my new Dentist. But, in case you missed it, here is the recap. (comedy already!)

I arrived for my appointment at 2:30 (tooth-hurty) and disrobed as required.  After the probe, I was told to remove my implants.  Upon further examination, I was told to leave and never come back.

Of course, I got a lollypop, a rubber toothbrush and a tube of tooth blackener.  This will come in handy as I start Clown College in the spring.

That’s it for now.  I must rest these weary fingers.

 -gj

The comet… it just ’sploded!

I was outside and I saw it!  The comet everyone has been talking about on The Comet Channel, MSCometBS, Rush Limberg’s Comet Talk Radio Network of Excellence and of course www.explodedcomet.com.  I just took a pair of power spectacles outside and pointed them up torwards the big “M” constallation, and I saw what appeard to be a fuzzy semi-transparent moon.  It looks like this http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21636369/  If you happen to see it yourself, please do not move it or break it.  It is very fragile.  Now I’m going to go hide under my bed.

It sucks, but WordPress is last…

It’s strictly alphabetical.  And in my list of ‘blogs, WordPress is last so my final crappy leftover ‘blog gets posted here. The problem is that after posting 3 other blogs tonight, I’m out of material. Since I no longer work blue, I can’t even toss in a cheap Dick joke just to finish off. Problem solved. Good night ladies (and genitals.) P.S. Follow me at www.twitter.com/acomputerpro